disintegrate

rate

i was pretty disappointed yesterday. i havent cried so much in such a long time. But He reminded me so much yesterday. His presence was with me and i know i have the courage to keep moving on.

What is my vision of God's purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If i can stay calm and faithful in any circumstances then the goal of the purpose of God will be accomplised in me. His purpose is the process itself. He just wants me to trust that everything will be alright because He is God.

It is the process, not the outcome that is glorifying to God.
-Oswald Chambers

YES, that moment by moment obedience is the most important! He will walk through everything with me.

for now, you take priority
in my life,may you be seen
i will let you lead

so impose your will upon me
i got nothing else to hide
i have been waiting for this moment
for you to override.

i am confident. i will try again. (:

it is not likely that i will have friends in some of my modules taken. but i know it is YOUR will because you want me to be more independant and less dependant on my jc friends.

yes and amen.

i know that YOU come along with my trials and tribulations. yes, i need to walk in faith right now! (:

i know i havent been blogging. i've been going down to NUS alot this week. but i am going to give myself a break and stay at home tml to bid for modules. I hope everything goes well and i will get the modules i want. My introduction to social work module is at stake now. ARGH ARGH ARGH. *cross fingers.

i am starting to regret alot of things and i am uncertain of myself. but i want to continue to trust and believe in the power of faith. it is my responsibilty to open up and take initiatives in matters now.

i will walk with You
through tears and joy
i will trust in You

You will never let me go. Show me your purpose for me in NUS. (:

things do not look good right now.
why do things have to happen? why cant things be move sailing?
but let me try to enjoy every moment and savour your grace that you have showered on me.
i believe that there is a reason for all my "whys" and let your perfect plan for me enfold before me.

so teach me and work in me. (:

argh. it was a good day yesterday. :D

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i guess these pictures are self explanatory.

*i am still on cloud nine.

it is going to be a big day tml. i am really hoping that it wont rain. :D i cant wait to see him again.

it has been two pretty rough days. But i am still standing strong because i trust and i will continue to let HIM work in me. I am nothing without YOU and all i can do is to persevere and wait. :)

/

Who are you now
Are you still the same or
did you change somehow

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everythings been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
There's still no perfect you

Now that you're gone
Still I'm moving on, I refuse to see
And I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in the moment
And wont turn back tonight

Cant you see i am still here?

i accompanied mei back to ny to collect her A level cert today. I should have worn something nicer if i have known that we were going to talk to teachers. Argh. went to bishan to watch batman begins. the show is simply awesome and christian bale is soooooo charming! ( mei, that is his name.oops!) the show is so much better than all the past batman shows made. i feel like watching it again. :)

school is starting in 2 weeks and i am quite stressed out over the bidding of my modules. i am completely clueless and i feel kind of lost. everything was kind of spoon fed to you in primary,secondary and in jc. But now, you have to be independant and responsible for what you choose and do. i am quite scared of that possibility.i need YOUR strength more than evermore. i cant do this by myself. i feel so tired trying to do everything. :/

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall
into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains
quake with their surging.
-Psalm 46:1-3

into your hands, i commit again
with all i am, i will trust in YOU.

i feel cheated.
i dont know why but i am sorry for feeling this way.
Sometimes i feel like i know you very well but just now, i realised i dont really know you that well after all.
i treasure our friendship alot. It is just that we dont really say it out loud to each other.

you know why i said i feel intimidated towards her?
you go think about it and tell me why, okay?

Haha. But i will get over it because i am nice okay? i am happy that you found someone even though you told me too late. (:

nette

it is never easy to say goodbye. i realised how fast time passes and how much people change. Everyone seems to be adapting to their new start and their new beginning. Rach left for melbourne yesterday. But hey, mei is right. It is not as if she is leaving for good but she is still going to come back during her holidays. When she started tearing and hugging us goodbye, i realised i was scared for her. Imagine adapting to a whole new environment there? But i know it is for the best and i am happy for her. :)

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i miss you already. :D

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6

Changes are hard to accept sometimes. i struggle so much yet i am going to stay strong. The road ahead is narrow and the way is sometimes steep but HE is going to be here guiding me all the way. YOU made me realised a lot this week. it is even more than i can ever imagine. i realised the importance of getting to know YOU better. So renew my heart and work in me. Amen.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. - 2 Cor 5:14-15

vcf camp was good. it was a good spiritual revival. i have really learnt alot from my seniors and i am more prepared to start NUS now. God has been good and i know that there is a purpose for me in NUS. it is a brand new start and a brand new beginning. Make me stronger, Lord. (:

a reality check. i am living for YOU all over again.

may i die for self and live for YOU
who died and rose again.

off to vcf camp. :)

into your hand
i commit again
with all I am
for you Lord

you hold my world
in the palm of your hand
and I'm yours forever

I'll walk with you
wherever you go
through tears and joy
I'll trust in you

and I will live
in all of your ways and
your promises forever

Lord, be in control right now. it is time to let go let God again. Work in me. :D

i am who i am.
God defines my existence.
So please dont judge me.
Dont make me change to what you want me to become.

i've been thinking alot after what happened yesterday.
i guess we are really living in a superficial world.
i wish i could be myself.
i wish i wasnt judged by all.
do you really love me for who i am or do you just fear me?
can i ever be understood? or will i always be misunderstood?

Let the peace of God reign in me.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62 : 5-8

As for today's worship explosion, it is time to let go, Let God. YOU are in control now. :D